Zero's Darkest Times
by Radioactive hearts
Summary: It's been a year since Yuki left and Zero's severely depressed. Will Yuki finally realize how much she loves Zero? And what happens when Yuki comes into the picture only to have her world come crashing down around her and her heart broken?
1. Chapter 1

**Modified: **Sun 1/07/2012 3:52 PM

Zero sad

I can see •her.• Yuki. She's just standing there, not doing anything. Just standing and watching, waiting. She's watching me, waiting for me to do something. I try to walk towards her but I can't, it's like I'm glued to the spot. My hand reaches out toward her but it's useless she's to far away. I can never be near her again. Slowly someone else appears. I watch, confused, as someone walks up behind Yuki. They're blurry, until their hand reaches out and holds Yuki's. The person is clear now; I can see who it is. Kuran. I watch, sadness filling me, as Yuki looks up at Kaname and smiles. Kuran turns and faces me, he just smirks at me as Yuki stands, wrapped in his arms. My eyes snap open just as I see Kaname about to kiss Yuki. I've had this dream a thousand times. They just stand there and talk and laugh. They stand there and be happy. It's like they're rubbing their happiness in my face. I hate it. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, curling up into a loose ball. Every night I dream of Yuki. Sometimes she's with Kaname other times she's alone, just watching me. I hoped for so long that Yuki would return my feelings, I still do, I know it's not going to happen though; it's been a year since she left. She's not coming back now, not after she's been gone so long. For a second I think I see Yuki, she's standing beside my bed, her hand reaching out to me. On instinct my hand reaches out towards hers, it finds nothing but air. This isn't the first time I've had hallucinations of Yuki. Sometimes it's worse then other times. Sometimes I think I can actually hear her or smell her. The chairman says I just miss her but there's something more to it. I don't just want her here. I need her here. I'm selfish, I know. I can't help it though. I feel like I need her here, like I need her to survive. Which I do. I'm not a level E anymore but I'm dying without her. It feels like someone ripped a whole in my chest, right where my heart is supposed to be. That's love for you. Since she left I've tried three times to kill myself. The chairman has me in counseling now. This will be my forth and final. Next time, I won't let her slip between my fingers. Next time, I'll let her know how much she means to me. Until then I guess it's goodbye. My hold on 'bloody Rose' lessens a little. I don't even know when I pulled the trigger. Mustn't have been to long ago, I can only just feel the blood soaking into my shirt. I let my eyes half close as my breathing begins to slow. I'm surprised the chairman didn't hear me fire. He sometimes comes and checks on me in the night. Only when I've had a bad day though. Today was one of my 'good' days. I can see the blood pooling around me, staining my sheets and clothes. Using what little energy I have left I scan my room for one last time. I find the thing I'm looking for in an instant. Yuki. I'm glad I can see her at this moment. I hope one day she realizes how much I love her, how much I'll always love her. I hope she knows she'll always have a special place in my heart, no matter what. I smile because I'm thinking of Yuki and how happy she must be. After all this time she finally got what she wanted, love from her hero. A smile graces my lips as I close my eyes and hope one day she'll understand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, itsa me, mario. No, not really, I wish. Anyway, here's the second chapter of my story...umm, yeah so I forgot to put in the first chapter that I don't own VK so here we go, I don't own VK. Enjoy! :)**

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_Yuki POV_

I smile to myself as I walk along the crowded streets, eating my ice-cream. I'm not usually allowed to go out but today's different. Today I'm going to go visit mother and father. Unfortunately Kaname can't come with me; he has some important business to attend to apparently. So instead Aidou is coming with me, despite my protests. I sigh quietly to myself as I finish the rest of my ice-cream. Summers just begun and I'm glad it's finally here; the cold was driving me crazy. In a way I'm kind of sad summer is here though, it reminds me of when I used to find Zero asleep in the stables or under a tree. I wonder if Zero misses me, I know I miss him.

No.

Of course he doesn't miss me. I'm a vampire, he hates vampires, thinks they're disgusting and should all be killed. I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear Aido speak. "You realize we went past the cemetery" he said dryly, my head snaps up as I look around, he's right we did walk past it. "Oh, right" I said, my cheeks flushing from embarrassment. As me and Aidou walk through the big iron gates I notice that something is a little different.

It smells like...people, lots of them.

Apparently Aidou notices to because he straightens up and says "Must be a funeral on today." I nod somberly to myself, death is a terrible thing. Following the path, I walk down the aisles of gravestones until I spot the ones that belong to my parents. Aidou gives me a small nod and begins to walk through the aisles, giving me some time alone. I smile sadly down at the graves, I don't say anything, I don't know what to say so I just stand their looking at their graves and thinking. Finally I whisper a goodbye and turn and walk toward Aidou who is standing staring at a big mass of people.

I stand and look with him, it must be the people I could smell from earlier. Just as I'm about to turn and leave I stop I see someone. Is that...? It is.

"Father." I call happily, running into his arms. The chairman looks shocked but soon recovers "Oh, my darling Yuki," he whispers holding me tight. "how have you been?" I smile up at him "I've been really good, father. I've missed you. How about you? How have you been? What about Zero, how's he doing?" I said, completely caught up in the excitement that I don't notice the sad look he's wearing or the tears on his face. "Father, what's...what's wrong?" I said trying to take a step back only to be held tighter.

I hear him sniff a little as he holds me close to him in a comforting hug. Why isn't he answering me? "What's wrong?" I ask quietly, concern lacing my words. Looking around I notice all the other people here. Most I've never met but there's a few that I've met before. The most known one to me is Yagari. "What's...going on?" I ask, fearful of what the answer might be. The chairman grips me tighter and I become aware of something.

He's not here.

Zero isn't here.

"Where...where's zero?" I said, my eyes brimming with tears. No. There's no need to get upset, it's nothing to worry about. I'm sure he's fine. A loud sob comes from the chairman and I feel a few of his tears fall onto my head. "No" I whisperer, shaking my head. Pulling away from the chairman I run toward the coffin. People are staring at me but I don't care.

"Open it" I say to the priest. "I'm sorry, I can't do that" he said sadly. "Please," I sob loudly "please open it." the priest looks hesitant but finally nods. I take a few steps away as he reluctantly opens it. Closing my eyes I step forwards until I'm just in front of it. Slowly I open my eyes and what I see kills me inside.

There he lays, as beautiful as ever. His eyes have been closed, hiding those sad amethyst orbs that I love so much. His silver hair is still as light as ever. His skin, smooth and flawless as usual, his lips set in a faint smile.

A smile he wore when he died.

I hear someone sobbing, loudly, hysterically. It takes me a minute to realize it's me.

This has to be some kind of joke. His way of getting back at me for when I left him. It has to be, he can't really be dead, he must be sleeping. He looks so peaceful and calm, like he really is asleep. Around him people have set down incredibly dark red, almost black roses. In this moment, looking at Zeros lifeless body I know for sure it was him I loved all along.

Never Kaname.

He was meant to be someone I could adore from afar, I was never meant to have him. Not Zero though, no, I was supposed to love him with all my heart and I did, just neither one of us knew. All this time, I could have been with him but I didn't listen to my heart. I should have known. Whenever I was with Kaname I just felt nervous and awkward but with Zero it was never like that. I should have realized what the pounding in my heart was whenever he was around, or the butterflies I got. I know now what it all meant but I'm too late. I'll never have him now. I'll never be able to hug him or wake up to his soft smile. We'll never get to hold each others hands. We'll never get to love each other. I feel the chairman's hands grab mine and try and pull me away but I don't let him, my feet stay firmly planted on the ground. "How?" I whispered, wiping the tears from my face. I'm sure I know how but I have to hear it. Just to make sure. The chairman stared at me sadly but didn't answer "How?" I repeated a little louder, feeling my heart twist with regret and sorrow.

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**So...what did you think? Loved it? Hated it? Thought it sucked shi...ps? ;D Anyway, I'd really, really appreciate some reviews, last time I only got like two so that sucked majorly. Oh, well, I'll take what I can get. Like I said in the first chapter this won't stay sad for too long. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, sorry about the wait but the third chapter is here. Enjoy and umm don't flame. :) P.S I don't own Vampire Knight. :'(**

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"Suicide" he whispered his voice faltering a little. I closes my eyes and breath deeply, trying to calm myself down.

I never should have left.

I should have stayed and looked after Zero.

Kept him safe.

Even though he hates me, I should have stayed and kept him safe.

I should have known better then to leave him.

Tears escape under my eyelashes as images of me and Zero pop into my head. Slowly I reopen my eyes expecting to find a beautiful silver haired vampire laying in the coffin, but he's not.

It's empty.

It's empty, how is it empty?

It takes me a few moments to notice the surprised whispers that surround me. No, they're not just surprised they're...scared? I gulp quietly and bite back more tears as I notice a figure in front of me. Slowly I raised my head, cautious of who's in front of me. My eyes watered heavily and loud sobs racked my body. The talking had stopped. The only sounds where my cries and the uneven breathing of the person standing in front of me.

We just stood, staring at each other for so long. Neither one of us spoke, no one did. We all just stood and watched eyes wide with fear, looking at the person in front of me.

"Zero?" I said swallowing heavily.

How could this be real? How could Zero, who was lying in that coffin just a few moments ago, be standing here, in front of me?

* * *

**Hey guys, I forgot to say this earlier. Thank you to everyone who's been reading my stories, I'm really grateful. I was going to stop writing my stories just because I really didn't think they were any good and cause not many people are reading. I've changed my mind though, simply because I'm so grateful to everyone who's read my stories. The fact that you take time out of your day just to read something I've made up is pretty cool, so thank you. **

**I'd really appreciate** **a review. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, sorry this chapter and last chapter was kinda short. The next few will (hopefully) be longer, ummm, I hope you enjoy and yeah. :)**

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_Yuki POV_

Zero just stared at me, not speaking or moving. Just watching me from afar.

"Zero...how? How can you be...alive?" I said, my voice shaking.

Slowly he took a step forward, then another, then another. He was a little under a meter away from me now.

"...Zero?" I said, my sobs shaking me profusely. I opened my mouth to speak but was quickly silenced by Zero.

"Shut up." he hissed and walked straight past me and to the chairman who seemed to be frozen in place.

He wasn't the only one. His voice was harsh and angry but still sounded just as beautiful as before. I watched, unable to move, as Zero and the chairman had a hushed conversation. The chairman still had tears on his face but didn't seem o be bothered by them, he was fairly calm now. Confused but calm. Zero, on the other hand, looked angry, more then angry, he looked murderous.

* * *

_Zero POV_

"It doesn't make sense," I hissed to the chairman "I died, why am I all of a sudden alive and why is _she_ here?" I said, venom dripping from every word.

I don't want her to be here.  
She shouldn't be here.  
I love Yuki Cross, not Yuki Kuran.

The chairman sighed "I don't know why she's here, she just is. Look, maybe we should discuss this later...and elsewhere" he said shaking his head sadly. I muttered profanities under my breath as I stalked off, leaving the chairman to calm everyone down.

I growled angrily as I heard footsteps behind me. "Zero." I heard _her_ puff.

The one person I didn't want to hear.

I kept walking ignoring her continues calls for me to slow down.

She's not the same Yuki as she was before, I have to remember that.

"Zero" she tried again "I know you can hear me, stop ignoring me." she said, finally beginning to catch up to me. "I'm not ignoring you, I'm simply to busy to talk." I said, walking faster in the hopes she would stop following. "Zero." Yuki said angrily, her hand reaching out and grasping mine, effectively pulling me back. "Do. Not. Touch. Me." I hissed angrily, ripping my hand away. Yuki's eyes blazed "that's no way to treat the Kuran princess" she snapped. I fought the urge I roll my eyes as I swept Yuki a gallant bow "sorry, _princess_" I said venomously. Almost immediately she looked ashamed at what she had said, I have no idea why. "Look zero" she said sighing "I just wanted-" "save it" I cut her off "sorry, I have to go" I said sounding not the least bit sincere.

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**I know, I know, that was _really _short but my next chapters should be longer (I hope.) I know I said this earlier but still.**

**Thank you to everyone who's been reading and following and stuff, I'm really grateful. :)**

**Fair winds my friends, I hope you review. ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone, I'm really really sorry about the wait, I have really bad writers block right now and honestly this is just a filler, not even a good filler. Anyway, I know it's short but the next one will be longer (I promise.) I know you guys have been waiting patiently to find out why Zero is alive again and I'm working on that. I did have it all plannned out but then I changed the story and I couldn't use the reason (of Zero being alive) because it made no sense whatsoever. **

**Thank you to everyone who's been reading, review, following and whatnot. :)**

* * *

_Yuki POV_

He has to know.

I have to let him to know, make him understand, even if he doesn't feel the same way. I have to tell Zero that I love him, no questions asked.

I sighed for the billionth time today as the Yagari handed me a cup of hot chocolate. We've been sitting in the kitchen, listening to the chairman and Zero argue for the past three hours.

I'm not kidding; Zero's been in the chairman's office for three whole hours yelling.

Yagari mumbled something under his breath about Zero being able to yell for an insanely long time without getting tired of it. I can't help but silently agree; just listening to it is exhausting. After another half an hour or so I hear someone quietly trudge down the stairs. After a second the Chairman appears looking tired but relieved.

Probably relieved that Zero isn't dead.

The chairman gave me a soft smile as he sat down across from me; warming his hands on the cup of coffee he had just been handed.

"Well," he trailed of tiredly "good news is Zero's all screamed out and has finally calmed down,... bad news is we still have no idea how he's alive."

"Why does it matter why he's alive? Shouldn't we just be thankful Zero's not underground?" I said, my voice started off soft and unsure but I soon grew louder and more confident in what I was saying.

I don't know why I said that, usually I'd just stay quiet but I guess Zero dying then coming back to life has shaken me up a bit. Like when I told Zero he wasn't treating me properly. I don't know what made me say that, it sounded more like something Aido would say.

I wonder where Aido is, I just kinda left him there at the cemetery. I guess I got to caught up in my worry to think about anyone else.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when the chairman stands up and washes out his cup. Looking around, I notice not only is Yagari gone, it's now dark outside. The chairman turns to me and smiles softly.

"If you'd like you can stay the night in your old bedroom, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go talk to Zero but it's late and he's probably still slightly grumpy or asleep, he'll probably be in a better mood tomorrow."

"Thank you father, that would be nice." I said stepping forwards and giving him a hug.

The chairman smiled at me, a comforting smile one last time before going to bed, leaving me to make my own way to my old room. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath in and held it for a few seconds before breathing out, trying to gain enough confidence to walk through these halls again. It's not that I can't remember my way around.

How could I forget?

I'm more worried about what will happen when I pass Zero's door, I know I'll be tempted to go in and talk to him like I used to when I was worried about him. Shaking away my memories I slowly make my way up to my room and pass out on my bed.

* * *

**Hi again, I'm really sorry this is so short the next one will be longer. (I swear.) **

**This is just a filler that I made, hopefully I'll recover from writers block soon.  
Next chapter will probably be both Zero and Yuki POV, and it'll be them sorting stuff out. (Probably)**

**Review and tell me what you think. Should Zero start being nice soon or should he stick to being a little mean for a bit longer? What do you think Zero's reaction to Yuki confessing her love willl be? **

**If you guys have any ideas on what you think should happen in this story PM or review me. :)**

**Fairwinds my freinds. ;)  
P.S Sorry for any mistakes,I was so tired when I wrote this and I don't have time to go over it right now. (I'm meant to be getting ready for school.) ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Haii, I'm really sorry about how long it took for this chapter to be posted, I had really bad writers block. Anyway, i hope you enjoy it. :)**

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_Zero POV_

I sat at the kitchen table, staring in disbelief at the books in front of me, my now cold coffee, which had been moved to the side, was the only indication that I had been up for hours trying to do as much research on my survival as possible. Shaking my head I slowly gathered the books in my arms, tipped my untouched coffee into the sink and deposited my stuff in my room before sinking down on my bed.

What if the books were right?

Is it possible that I'm...no, it can't be true, they're just old stories.

Whispers and rumors.

Nothing more.

A knock on my door pulled me from my thinking, before I could answer the door opened a little.

"Zero?" the chairman said sticking his head in.

When he saw I was up he opened the door the rest of the way and stepped in. I almost banged my head on the wall at what he was wearing.  
That damn kitty apron.

"Good morning, I've made breakfast..." he trailed off almost seeming a little uneasy.

Not that I can blame him, with the way I acted yesterday it makes sense.

"I'll be down in a minute" I said rubbing my eyes with the balls of my hands, the chairman nodded a little but didn't make a move to leave.

Finally he spoke again, "Don't worry Zero, we'll figure things out soon enough." I gave him a short nod in return, deciding not to tell him about my suspicions. With one last smile him and his girly apron left.

_Yuki POV_

The chairman was humming merrily to himself as he danced around making god only knows what for breakfast. Every now and then I would hear the floorboards above me creak, successfully increasing my anxiety.

Today I'm going to try and talk to Zero, _again_. But this time I'm going to make him listen. I'm worried though; worried about what he's going to say and how he's going to act. After what felt like years, but was truthfully only minutes, I heard the stairs creak and then the soft padding of feet. The chairman must've heard it to 'cause he sent me a reassuring smile then quickly turned towards the doorway just in time to see Zero enter.

"Morning Zero, I was beginning to think you wouldn't come down." the chairman said as he piled some pancakes onto a plate for Zero and made him a coffee. From my peripheral vision I saw Zero sit down, his body tense and rigid, like he's ready for an attack.

Of course he is though, he's a hunter and he doesn't trust vampires, even if he's one himself.

Looking up from my food I slowly directed my gaze over to Zero.

"Morning Zero" I said trying to hide my unease with a smile. For less then a second his eyes flicked over to me before gong back to staring at the cup in front of him.

"Morning" he muttered as rubbed his face with the palms of his hands before dropping his head.

Finally getting a good look at his face I noticed how tired he looked, apparently the chairman noticed to.

"Rough night?" he said sadly, Zero only lifted his head for a second but in that second I saw something that made me nervous. It's strange, almost worrying to see Zero look so upset. He nodded a little and then sipped his coffee for a bit before shaking his head, almost as if he was clearing his thoughts and getting up.

"I'm gonna go back to bed, I'm still tired." he said stretching a little. The chairman nodded and gave him a small smile to which, surprisingly, Zero didn't scowl at. As he walked past me and to his room I saw him send me a smile, I was so incredibly surprised by it I actually chocked on my hot chocolate. When I finally recovered Zero was gone.

_Dammit._

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**I'M SO SORRY!**

**I'm terrible I know, I know I said I would put the conversation with Zero and Yuki in but I really didn't want to wait much longer to post it so I'll try my best to put it in the next chapter. **

**The other thing I wanted to say is I'm really sorry to iwanttomarrydimitribelikov, I was a total bitch at school today, and I'm really sorry. I wasn't actually mad at you...or at anyone really, I was just having a crap day (up until second lunch that is.) I was just really tired and frustrated and I was pissed at having to listen to Mr Rehbeinclokin'...that's no excuse I know. I was just being a little bitch so I'm sorry and I love you. 3**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, I'm really sorry about the wait. Things have been crazy lately and I just haven't had the motivation to write anything. I'm thinking about making a special account on facebook so you guys can be my friends on it...I don't know just an idea, maybe Twiiter aswell. Anyway, I have to do the disclaimer...I keep forgetting.  
**

**Me- Zero, get you're ass out here and do this for me...  
**

**Zero- If I do this then will you let me go...or at least untie me?  
**

**Me- ...Just...do the disclaimer  
**

**Zero- Sam does not own Vampire Knight, she does however own Zero's darkest times...  
**

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_Yuki POV_

I was so nervous all day waiting for Zero to wake up. I couldn't stop fidgeting and pacing. I finally started to calm down around lunch, only to become nervous again when I heard Zero get up. After several minutes Zero trudged downstairs still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"You're up just in time for lunch, Zero." the chairman said grinning, his eyes flicking over to me for just a second.

Apparently Zero noticed the action because his eyes flicked over to me for a second before going back to the chairman.

My heart sank, what happened to the Zero from earlier? The one that actually smiled at me and seemed to be in an okay mood?

"So," the chairman trailed off, seeming almost unsure of what to say. "What's everyone doing today?"

"Research." Zero said, his eyebrows drawing together slightly.

"Umm, well, I'm not really doing anything." I stumbled. Way to go, what happened to speaking to Zero? "But, if Zero has time I'd...like to speak to him." I said uneasily.

"Yeah, okay." Zero muttered.

* * *

Zero had told me he would meet me outside, by the stables, at dusk. So here I am, waiting for him to arrive.

I'm so nervous.

I have no idea how he'll act when I tell him. I took my time getting ready before I left, wanting to at least look okay when I told him. I don't know why, Zero's seen me dressed scabbily before, he probably wouldn't care. I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard footsteps, looking around I noticed Zero heading towards me.

I took a deep breath in and quickly let it out just before he got to me. For a while we both just stood there, neither of us saying anything. Zero was the first one to speak.

"You probably want to know why I did it, right?" he asked, his arms crossed over his chest, leaning up against a nearby tree.

"Know why you did what?" I asked baffled. As soon as I said it I understood what he meant. Why he tried to kill himself, of course that's what he meant. "Oh, umm, yeah. I guess I do." I said softly.

"You'll tell me when you're ready though. What I really wanted to talk to you about is..."

Zero looked at me like I was an idiot but waited for me to continue.

"I wanted to talk to you about...us. I guess." Zero's face showed no emotion whatsoever. Something he's apparently very skilled at.

"You see...here's the thing. When I left with Kaname I thought that was what I wanted."

Still no response from the silver haired vampire, not even frown.

"I missed you...like crazy. I always wondered if you missed me too, then I would remembered I was a vampire and you promised to kill me." I laughed nervously. "I thought I was starting to get used to everything and then I went to visit my parent's graves and...I saw the chairman and found out it was your funeral and I was so surprised and upset."

I really need to stop blabbing. Sighing I tried again. "I was really upset when you 'died.' I thought, 'I'll never get to see Zero ever again.' Somewhere amidst the tears and anger and stuff, I realized that..."

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath in.

"I realized that I love you." I blurted out.

Slowly I opened my eyes to find Zero standing in the exact same spot as he was earlier, absolutely emotionless. It was silent for a minute as we both stood there in, probably the most, awkward silence ever.

Zero isn't saying anything.

Why isn't he saying anything?

It's because he doesn't like me back. Of course he doesn't how stupid for me to ever think that he might. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I don't know if it was because I was embarrassed or heartbroken.

Probably both.

"I-I'm sorry, I should have just kept my big fat mouth shut. I...I don't know why I said it, I just, I don't know." I blabbered, trying to cover up how idiotic I was being. "I, um, I have to go." I mumbled before running off, tears streaming down my face.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. God I'm an idiot. I didn't even realize where I was running to until I had flopped down onto my bed. Clutching my pillow I cried my heart out for hours before I finally fell asleep.

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_Zero POV_

I don't know how long I stood outside the stables for, all I know is when I finally snapped out of the haze that seemed to be surrounding me it was really dark. The whole way back to my room I couldn't stop thinking about what Yuki had said.

She couldn't love me could she?

It has to be a joke.

I want, so badly, for it to be true, but it just can't be. I've never showed even the slightest bit of kindness towards her, I'm always rude or angry and whenever I talk to her it's usually something mean that I'm saying.

There's no way it could be to myself I spent the rest of the night sulking in my room.

* * *

**My HPE teacher hates me and my friend (iwanttomarrydimitribelikov) I can't understand why...we only handed him some lipgloss that we found on the ground and announced that he would need it for his 'second job.' He called me usesless after that...My brother thinks with lips like his he could work on the street. I don't know how this has anything to do with the story...  
**

**Anyway...what do you guys think about me making a special account on facebook so we can all be friends?**

**What about the chapter...what do you guys think of it?  
**

**I'd love a review or a PM :D  
**


	8. I'M SO SORRY!

**Hey guys, I'm really really sorry but I'm not sure when I'll be posting the next chapter. **

**Here's why...  
**

**I was at school yesterday and I fell, landed on my wrist and broke and buckled it...it's currently in a cast and a sling and will stay like that for three weeks.**

**I cant use my right arm for anything so I cant write stories but I'll resume as soon as I can.**

**SORRY.  
**


	9. I'M BACK!

**OH MY GOD GUYS! I'M BACK. I'M FINALLY BACK. I KNOW, IT'S BEEN SO LONG. I'M NOT DEAD. IT TURNS OUT I'M ALIVE.**

**I know I said I would be back to writing within three weeks but I ahd to go get another cast and I ended up having it on for longer and... -sighs-**

**It was tragic to say the least...**

**Anywho, I'll to you all soon. xoxoxo 3**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi, guys. Guess what? This chapter is dedicated to you. Yes, you. All of you, every single one. You know why? Because you're all amazing and I love you.**

I hope you enjoy the...shortness of it. 

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately Santa was unable to give me the rights to Vampire knight, I do however own Zero's darkets times. -unenthused face-  
**

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_Yuki POV_

I stated longingly at my cereal that was in front of me. I was hungry but couldn't seem to force myself to eat. I knew why too.

Zero will be up soon and I'm just to nervous to eat. It's going to be so awkward after yesterday's...confession session. The chairman knows something wrong but knows not to ask.

Thank god.

I duck my head slightly, pushing the cereal around my bowl as I hear Zero enter the kitchen. My shaking hands somehow manage to keep a grip on my spoon, pointlessly stirring my porridge. I listen intently as Zero moves around the kitchen. After what seems like an eternity he sits across from me, a cup of steaming black coffee in his hands.

Glancing up quickly I notice he's holding his face in his hands. He stays like that for a minute before pulling them away. Staring into his cup he shakes his head, almost as if trying to shake away his thoughts.

_Zero POV_

I bit the side of my tongue, trying to ignore the awkward atmosphere. Yuki was sitting across from me, spoon clutched in one hand, he head bowed but eyes looking up so she could see me. Sighing quietly I tipped my coffee down the sink and left.

Look at that.

I can't even stay in the same room as Yuki for five minutes before I have to leave.

Pathetic.

* * *

**Yeah Zero, that is pathetic. Not quite as pathetic as this chapter though...**

Well,...you know what thye say, 'Short and sweet.'

**No. No. No. This was deffinitely short but it certainly wasn't sweet. -sobs- It was terrible.**

Anyway, I'm going to put an awkward scene into the next chapter. I can't think of what will happen though. Any suggestions would be gladly welcomed. You can either review this shitty chapter or inbox me.

**Fairwinds. xoxo 3  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys. I'm back to posting, finally. I know it's been so so long. ****Would you believe me if I said I've missed you all like crazy 'cause I truely have. Things have just been so hectic and I've had the worst writers block. ****I've got a couple new chapters in stall for you guys which I really hope you all enjoy. Now, before I do the disclaimer I just want to thank these people~**

**Kourage215**

**michelle****88222**

44anifreak44

All-Smiles1234

unknown98

BellaChrono

.1441

Ralphs No.1 Girl

Dawnie  
  
**Guest**

rephiamluvers123

XxThe-Crest-Of-AnubisxX

**Aimii0**

**For re****viewing on previous chpaters. Sorry for any mistakes. And I hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

_Third POV_

Unfortunately for the two vampires that day passed slowly. Yuki avoiding Zero and Zero avoiding Yuki. Neither of the two really knew what to say to the other so instead they opted with awkward glances and silence.

The chairman, who had by now realized that something was up had so far kept quiet. Not wanting to make anything worse.

_Zero POV_

I sat leant against the head of my bed, a book about vampire legends rested on my lap. For a moment or two I closed my eyes, breathing in a lung full of fresh air. With all the Yuki drama I haven't been able to put much research into my survival meaning more sleepless nights.

A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. Snapping the book shut I sigh.

"Yeah?"

Slowly the door cracks open and the chairman pokes his head through.

"I have to go out for a bit Zero. There should be something in the kitchen for lunch." He said eyeing my book with confusion.

"Anyway, I'm off." he said with a smile before turning and practically dancing out of sight.

After a battle of deciding whether I would go down and get lunch or not my stomach finally won. Thank god Yuki was no where to be found.

After a minute of blatantly staring at the packet soup and kitty apron the chairman had left on the kitchen table I decided to ignore the apron.

Frowning to myself I ignored the way the stairs creaked. As if someone was slowly making their way down them.

I was facing away from the doorway when I heard Yuki step into the kitchen. My whole body going rigid for a second before I continued with what I was doing. From the corner of my eye I could see Yuki was stationed at the fridge, her eyes scanning each shelf carefully.

"Err. Hey, Zero. Is there any soup left?" Yukis uneasy voice broke the silence.

Mentally sighing I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl beside me.

"Yeah. Here." I said awkwardly handing over my food before taking a bite into the apple.

"Oh. No, it's okay. This is yours. I'll get something else" She said trying to push the bowl back.

I rolled my eyes before pushing it back towards her "No, really. I'm all good."

Yuki studied the food for a second before mumbling and awkward "Thank you."

Ten minutes later and neither of us have spoken another word. Yukis eating her food and I'm just standing here waiting for her to finish so I can clean up. Not a moment later Yuki pushed the now empty bowl away. "Thanks for that..." She trailed off giving a half-smile. For a second I just stared at her before biting down on my to tongue to stop any sort of bad remark. "You've got a little...something on your face."

Yukis hand flew up to her mouth, rubbing furiously.

"Gone?" She said lowering her hand.

"Erm. No, it's more...on your cheek." I said before awkwardly shuffling out of the kitchen and into the lounge room.

* * *

**Everyone loves a crappy ending. Sorry, but I really didn't know how to finish this chapter. I know it's really bad but I'm used to writing in third pov now so this was really strange. I'd really love a review but if not then I guess that's cool too. Look out for the next chpater guys, it'll be up soon. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Heeey there my beautifuls. How are you all? I told ya the next xhapter would be coming didn't I?**

Sigh, I think I forgot to do the disclaimer on my last chapter so-  
I do not own Vampire Knight, Yuki, Zero, The chairman or any of the other characters. **Blah blah blah, you know the drill.**

I hope you enjoy this, I actually had a lot of fun writing this chpater and I'm not sure why. Anyway, enjoy. :)

* * *

_Yuki POV_

Biting down gently on my lip I softly knocked on Zeros door. The chairman had just called a minute ago and told me that he would be back until late tonight or sometime tomorrow. Which is exactly why I was coming up to talk to Zero.

It totally has noting to do with the fact that I just want to be able to sit with him and laugh and take in the smell of his cologne.  
Or to do with the fact that I'm in love with him and want to know how he is, if he's happy. If he's getting by.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear someone clear there throat. Glancing up I notice Zeros stepped away from the door allowing me to enter.

"The chairman called." I said softly as I followed him in. "Said he wouldn't be back for a while.."

Nodding, Zero sat on the edge of his bed, his fingers sliding across the spine of an old looking book before he snapped it shut.

"Right, well I guess I'll leave you alone now.." I said after a minute or two of silence.

Just as I reached to the door handle a voice stopped me.

Zeros voice.

"You don't have to go if you don't want.. I don't mind having you here."

Slowly turning around I noticed Zeros lips were set in the tiniest smile, like he was afraid that if he acted to nice it would kill him.  
Shooting him a quick smile I nodded and slowly made my way around the room.

"So.. How've you been?" I asked softly.

From the corner of my eye I saw Zero shrug. "Alright, busy I guess... What about you?"

For a minute I'm quiet.  
What am I meant to tell him?  
That I'm miserable?  
That I have a fiancée that I'm not interested in?  
That leaves me alone practically all the time because he always has important events he has to attend.

Or y'know I could always tell him that I'm in love with my childhood friend..

"I've been good." For a second I think I hear Zero laugh quietly to himself but when I turn around to face him he's sitting, looking as passive as always.

For a long time me and Zero stay silent, neither one of us daring to break the silence that has enveloped us.  
Just when I think he's forgotten I'm here he speaks.

"Yuki..." Swallowing the lump in my throat I turn around and smile, trying not to flip out over the fact that for the first time in a year he actually said my name.

"Hey, what's that old book about?" I say just as he opens his mouth to speak.

"I bet it's something real boring like the stuff we used to have to read in class. Not that you read boring stuff it's just it's so old and.."

"Yuki." Zero repeats a little louder.

Noticing the look on his face I hum a non committal noise as I try to rack my brain for something to say that'll get him to drop whatever he's about to say.  
Surely he's about to get mad at me or tell me something I don't want to hear.  
Surely.

"What did you mean the other day...when you said you loved me, what did that mean?"

Feeling my stomach twist and my eyes water I smile sadly to myself. Of course he was going to ask this sooner or later.

"It meant exactly that." I said shakily. "It meant I love you and I think you're perfect in every way. And-"

"Did you even mean it?" Zero cut me off, his voice low and almost desperate sounding.

"Yeah." I whispers quietly as I feel a tear slip out of the corner of my eye and trickle down my face. Scrubbing it away I take a shaky breath in. "Yeah, I did mean it. With all my heart."

Slowly Zero stands up, and makes his way towards me. Squeezing my eyes shut I will myself to stop the tears I can feel trying to escape.  
When I next open my eyes Zeros standing right in front of me. For a second we both stand completely still before Zero does something I never would have expected.

* * *

**Ohh yeaaah. Cliffhanger.**  
**But not really.**

**W****hat do you think's gonna happen?  
Anyway, I'm working on the next chapter right now so hopefully that'll be up a little later today. Love you all and feel free to review or PM me. Oh, and suggestions are welcome.** **:)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry guys this was meant to be up a couple days ago but I got into some trouble and...yeah.  
**

**Disclaimer~ Radioactive hearts does not own Vampire Knight and you guys have probably read all this before and know the drill so let's just get on with the story shall we? Enjoy. :)**

* * *

_Yuki POV_

He kissed me.  
Zeros kissing me.

The boy I love is kissing me.

After a second, when the thought of what was going on sunk in I began to kiss back.

It was amazing.  
Our lips molding and moving together in complete synchronization.  
His warm lips moving against mine in a way that I never thought possible.  
His arms wrapped around my waist pulling me in closer.

After what seemed like an eternity of lips locking he gently pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine. Both of us trying to regain the breath we lost but not really wanting to move away from each other.

Pulling away slightly I allowed a sob to creep up my throat and slip out just as my hand pulled back and connected with Zeros cheek. The sound echoed loudly throughout the room and for a second I felt a bit of regret. Slowly Zeros hands pulled away to dangle limply beside his body.

Looking up uncertainly I noticed the sad understanding on Zeros face. Stepping back slightly nodded once before disappearing out the door and down the stairs.

* * *

_:-:time skip:-: ((It's now around seven thirty at night))  
_

* * *

_Yuki POV (still)  
_

Letting out a shaky breath I rubbed the dried tears from my face before properly sitting up.

I had been crying in my room for almost a full hour before I had fallen asleep only to wake up and find myself still a mess. Drumming my fingers against my knee I bit my lip.

Did I really want to go downstairs?

I mean,. what If Zero was down there?

After nearly ten minutes of debating I slowly began to pad down the stairs and into the kitchen only to find it empty except for the lone note taped to the fridge.

"Got a call from the hunters association, will be back later tonight. Dinner is in the fridge." I read quietly to myself before letting out a sigh.  
Guess it's just me tonight.

_Zero POV_

Yagami had been watching me for the last few minutes, his forehead creased with lines of concentration.

"What's up with you tonight?" He asked gruffly, kicking aside an old can.

We had been walking for the last half hour trying to find a couple of levels E's that needed sorting out. So far this was the first thing he had said to me, things are still a little weird after what happened at my funeral.

"Nothing, just thinking.." Yagari smirked, shaking his head a little. "You've always been a pretty reserved-" For a second Yagari was silent before glancing around.

"You smell that? Vampires,. and they're close."

_Chairman POV_

Frowning a little I paid my taxi driver before stepping out. Still frowning at the lights on in the house I unlocked the front door, almost dropping my briefcase in the process.

It's three in the morning; surely Yuki and Zero aren't still up.

"Father,. is that you?" I heard a Yukis soft voice question from inside the lounge room.

"Who else would it be, my darling Yuki?" I said, dropping my things so I could greet my wonderful daughter.

Giving a smile Yuki shrugged "I thought it might be Zero.." She trailed off sounding a little uneasy. "What he's not here? Oh, he fought with you again didn't he?" I questioned, pouting sadly.  
Yuki laughed shakily and handed me a slip of paper. "The hunters association called. I just thought he would've been back by now."  
"Oh don't worry about that, sometimes after a hunt the, err what do you call them? Hunters, yes, hunters. Sometimes they have paperwork to do and other times they..go out for a drink. Either way it's nothing to worry about. Now c'mon, it's way past your bedtime my darling daughter."

* * *

** Oh my god guys. When I wrote the line about Zero putting his forehead against Yukis my Ipod changed it to foreskin and it was literally the worst thing I've ever experienced. I think I cried a little. **

**Also, I hope you enjoyed that crappy ass kiss, I know I didn't. It was so awkward to write and I just wanted to shove my face in a blender afterwards.  
**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and um. Would it be to much to ask for a review?  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Um. So yeah. Hi guys. **  
**Here's the next chater. I hope you enjouy it and I don't own VK which sucks. Siigh. **  
**Oh well. Enjoy. :)**

* * *

_Yuki POV_

The next day goes slowly, or at least the morning does. It's filled with phone calls to and from the chairman, constant pacing on my part and a lot of waiting.

By the time it reached eight in the morning I was so hysterical and worried over Zeros absence that chairman gave in and called a few hunters from the association to see if they knew anything. Two hours later and I've made myself do panicked that the chairman tried to get me to breathe in a paper bag.

"Father,..you said sometimes they don't get home right away because of paperwork and stuff, right?" Hanging my head in my hands, I sigh. "Is it possible I'm just over reacting?"

The chairman's silent for a moment, his fingers idly playing with he phone sitting beside him. "It's possible,.." he starts off slowly. "But I guess it's always better to be safe then sorry."

Nodding, I drummed my fingers uneasily against the table. A habit I picked up from Zero from when he used to tutor me.

"I slapped Zero before he left.." My voice trails off uneasily and I know I'm flushing red. The chairman hums quietly, a noncommittal noise as he waits for me to continue. "He...he kissed me. It wasn't till then that I realized how much I hated him. He left me feeling like a fool after I told him that I liked him and then he acted like nothing had ever happened. He always acted like he wasn't interested in me.. at least not in that way.. He tried to leave. Not just me though. All of us. He knew full well what pulling that trigger would do and how it would make us all feel. But he did it anyway." by the end of my rant I'm not only yelling I'm also crying.

Slumping down in my seat I wipe my face clean of tears only to have them replaced with fresh ones. "What if I never see Zero again? The last memory I would have of him is that...sad understanding after I slapped him. Like he understood why I did it."

"I think,.." the chairmans voice is quiet. Collected and even, unlike mine was. "Zero did everything that he did because it's what he thought was right. I don't think he did anything to hurt us. He did it all because it's what he believed would be best for us." By the time the chairmans finished speaking I feel worse about myself then ever.

If what he said is true then I didn't even have any right to be upset in the first place.

"Look, I think it's pretty obvious we're not going to find out much through a phone call. I'm going to go down to the association and sought everything out. Zero will be fine, you'll see."

_Third POV_

Careful hands, threading needles, pulling skin together, sewing closed what should be a hole through a chest.

Sighing in relief, Leda, a young girl working as a nurse for the hunters, dropped the medical utensils and smiled proudly. "I think you're all patched up."

Nodding in thanks the boy pulled on a shirt before easing himself off the bed he had been instructed to sit on. A small motion of a hand, coming from his mentor sent the boy trudging out the door to wait in the corridor.

The boy huffed angrily to himself, hating that he's being looked after, babied almost. The soft clicking of a door shutting snaps the boy out of his thoughts, glancing up from under his bangs momentarily he notices his mentors expression is somewhat unusual.

Relief.

Relief that the boy is okay.

"That wasn't apart of your instructions y'know. You didn't have to throw yourself in front of me Zero. It could have killed you."

_Zero POV_

Shrugging I stuff my hands in my pockets. "Now we're even. You've saved me once and I've saved you."

Frowning Yagari straightens his jacket. "This about when I lost my eyes?" Letting out a breathy chuckle that I doubt anyone else heard I turn and begin to leave.

"Surprised you still remember that."

* * *

**Whoooo. Crappy shapters for the win. I suck poo and da da da..  
I dunno. ;-;**

Anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed this. Erm. I'D REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE A REVIEW CAUSE MY FANFICTION ACCOUNT IS POOPY AND IT JUST WONT TELL ME HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE READING MY STORY AND IT'S SO ANNOYING.  
That probably sounds like a lie or soemthing but I'm being legit.  


**The next chapter shall be up soon. Love you guys. :)  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys. Sorry about the wait. Writers block is a bitch, aint it? **

**Erm, so I've been writing some Rise of the guardians** **and Supernatural fanfictions which has been pretty fun. If any of you gusy wnat to read it then.. just tell me I guess. **

**Also, I don't own Vampire Knight. Yadda, yadda, yadda~  
Enjoy:)**

* * *

_Yuki POV_

After the chairman left I did probably everything I could do to keep myself from getting anxious. Nothing seemed to work, however.

Sighing I trudged up the stairs towards my room only to stop directly outside Zeros door. Reaching forward, my hand grasped the doorknob and I slowly twisted, letting the door swing open. Peeking inside I noticed things were always as there were a year ago. Some thing I apparently didn't notice yesterday.

In other words the room looked like no one lived in it. There weren't any pictures on the bedside table. No bits of spare changs either. Not even any books.

Speaking of books, I wanna know what that old book Zeros been reading is about.

Tiptoeing forward I quietly made my way inside Zeros room, careful not to wake the ghosts that hide beneath the floorboards and make them creak in pain.

For a second I contemplate opening the draw in Zeros bedside table. Biting my lip lightly I cast a furtive glance around before going ahead and looking. He'll be mad if he finds out, I know. After a few minutes of rummaging around I find a picture of Zero, the chairman and I all standing together, a few loose bullets, some money and, thank lord, the book.

Sliding my hands over the cover I smile to myself before cracking it open and beginning to read.

Surprisingly enough it's about vampire myths and legends. The first one is pretty silly. So is the second and the third. I get about halfway through the book before I find one that's interesting.

"Accoring to old legends there three different types of vampires. Normal vampires, which need blood to survive. These vampires can't die from sickness and are fairly strong, therefore leaving old age the main way for them to die. Dead vampires, these vampires also need blood to survive but are weak and close to dying, hence the name. They quite often die of thirst or at the hands of another vampire or hunter, going insane and killing anyone and everyone they can just before. Lastly there's pio ischryó, greek for 'most powerful'. These vampires are rare yet incredibly powerful. They can only be killed by-"

For a second I stop reading, straining my ears for any sounds. Glancing back at the book in my hands I snap it shut before going and hiding it under my pillow. I reach the lounge room with just enough time to turn the tv on and plop down on the couch before the chairmans walking through the door, a very pale and tired looking Zero trailing behind.

Grinning I awkwardly make my way towards Zero, ready to throw my arms around him when I smell something.

"What..is that?" I glance around to see if anyone else has noticed but the chairmans already made his way into the kitchen and Zeros just standing there with a questioning frown on his face.

"Zero..that smell? Are you bleeding?" For a second or two Zeros emotionless before he smiles a little, an almost mocking gesture and pulls off his jacket. On instinct my hands reach out, wanting to clean up the blood that's soaked through Zeros t-shirt.

But I have to stop.

Because he's backing away from me.  
They're small, unsure steps but I still notice it.  
And in that moment I finally realize why Zero hates me so much.

I'm not just a vampire.

I'm a pureblood.

The same thing that killed his parents.

* * *

**Wow. I'm so done right now. That was terrible.**

But right now I have more pressing matters guys. Reviews.  
Oh lord. I have no idea what I'm doing with this story cause everyone's a silent reader except for the ever faithfull AllSmiles1234 I seriously can't evern remember how to properly spell you're name but I'm lazy. SORRy.  
Anyway, back to the problem. I ahve no idea if you guys are happy with this or think it's shit or what. So I'd really really appreciate some reviews.  


**I will... high five you in the boob if you review this. please guys. imsodesperate**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys. So, I finally eploaded the next chapter. Umm, I actually had a bit of fun writing this. Or parts of it at least..**

**I don't own Vampire Knight and stupid stuff like that. I hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

_Yuki POV_

Zero watches me for a second or two, forehead crinkling in confusion.

"Not anymore.." he mumbles, roughly pulling his jacket on. "What's it to you anyway?"

Surprisingly isn't angry. Or at least he doesn't seem it. He actually seems..curious.

"Sorry I slapped you earlier." I offer quietly, my hands wringing together nervously.

For a moment a flicker of a smile crosses Zeros face. And just like that it's gone.

"Doesn't matter. I deserved it right? Anyway, I'm kinda tired so.." "Oh, right. Well sleep well." I mumble, even though Zeros already halfway up the stairs.

_Zero POV_

Flopping down onto my bed I sigh quietly. I can feel the stitches in my chest tugging a little and it only adds to the list of things that's re sore right now. For a while I just lay there, letting myself drift off to sleep only to be woken by nightmares.

Sighing I peel off my jacket and shirt, grimacing at all the blood stains. Studying the stitches on my chest I frown before heading into the bathroom and retrieving the small medical kit. A few of the stitches have ripped and I have to redo them which proves to be more difficult then I expected.

Mostly because Yuki walks in.

For a few seconds Yuki just stands there, before sitting me down on the edge of the bathtub and insisting that she helps.

"Since when are you a nurse?" I mumbled, watching as her hands carefully fixed the stitching.

"After I left I needed to learn how to take care of myself, I guess after a while It was easy. I'm not exactly a surgeon but it should do." She said, straightening up and brushing her hands off.

"Thanks.." I muttered, pulling a shirt on. Yuki half smiled, rocking back and forth on her heels before speaking up.

"Hey Zero, we.. we never talked about why you did it."

_Yuki POV_

Glancing up from the medical kit in his hands Zero raised his eyebrows a little before continuing with what he was doing.

"About what?"

"About why…you killed yourself."

Zero grunted a little, shoving things back where they were before. "Long story short, I wasn't happy."

" Don't shut me out Zero. I'm not as fragile as you think. I can handle it." Zero sighed, shook his head a little and then left.

* * *

"Zero? You can't avoid this forever." I sighed, leaning against the kitchen bench. Dropping the spoon he was holding Zero sighed, exasperated.

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"You know what!"

"I'm busy right now. Y'know.. making _your_ lunch."

"Please.."

Sighing heavily, Zero nodded before leaning heavily against the wall, almost as if he was to tired to hold himself up.

_Zero POV_

Frowning, I tried to think of a way to explain it to Yuki without going into specifics or scaring her.

"Once there was this boy, he had a mum, a dad, even a brother, right?" I started off a little unsure.

"One day the parents were murdered by this.. monster. It took the boys brother,.. left him all by himself. So this kid gets 'adopted' by some guy who has this other 'adopted' kid. A girl."Clearing my throat a little I glance up to see Yuki watching me intently.

"Anyway, this boy..wasn't human any more. He was a monster, the same thing that took away his parents and his twin. But he denied it like crazy, lived with his new family, went to school, trained and became a hunter just like expected. This girl… the one that he lived with. She had saved him so many times, she never knew it but the amount of times she walked in on him about to leave or give up. It was almost like she knew. She was great.. not that he ever told her that. The father..was annoying and weird but he loved the two kids so I guess that was okay. Eventually the boy and girl grew up, she turned out to be.. more like him then either of them realized. He turned out to be.. selfish and.. Well when she left he was mad at himself. All the time. Because it was his fault that she left, right? 'Cause he was mean and a lot of the time he just wasn't a very nice person. So.. what do you do when you realize that the only person that ever actually liked you leaves? When you realize that they're not going to come back, no matter how hard you beg and cry, they're gone and they're living a good life. The life they deserve. What if the boy swore he was gong to kill her, when he knew that she was the only thing keeping him alive? There were always these little thoughts running around his head, the ones that the girl unknowingly kept at bay. These thoughts..they got so bad somedays that he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. And he was right, he couldn't. It took him four times but he finally went to sleep, knowing..he wasn't going to wake up. But he was alright with that, 'cause then he couldn't hurt anyone else and he could just rest forever and not have to worry about anything ever again. But he was wrong. He did wake up."

With that, I left not bothering to continue on.  
After all, she knew the rest.

* * *

**So.. **

**I really need to stop switching between povs don't I? Does that anoy you guys or...? Anyway. What did you all think abotu Zeros weird story thing?  
**

**Um. You should all review because I love yous and.. yeah. Anyway. If you have any suggestions or soemthing then please go ahead. God knows I need it. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys, I know it's been a while but here's the next chapter.  
****I wont go into huge detail about why I stopped posting I'll just say for AGES I had no internet so yeah.  
****VK is not mine, this story plot however is. Enjoy**

* * *

Sighing I flop down onto my bed before stretching my arms out so the slide beneath my pillow. For a second I'm still before bolting upright and throwing my pillow out of the , I frantically search through my sheets, under and behind my bed, under the mattress, in my dresser. I look everywhere.

Zeros book is gone.

Groaning in annoyance I slump back down on my bed.  
I remember I hid it under my pillow, I know I did.  
So either the chairman or Zero found it.

"Great." I murmur quietly to myself before heading downstairs to the kitchen where Zero and the chairman sit, arms crossed, heads slightly bowed and frowning. One of the floorboards creak quietly when I step on it and both Zero and the chairman look up immediately.

"Yuki! Darling, can you do daddy a favour and go down to the shops and buy me some tomatoes? We're going to have tomato soup for lunch, Zeros favourite. Silly me forgot to make sure we had some earlier." The chairman rambled, smiling in a way that only added to my suspicions. Frowning I faced Zero whose head was lolling backwards and eyes were shut.

"I'll go get your… tomatoes," He muttered before getting up.

"But, Zero. I thought we were meant to be talking about that.. thing. Y'know,.. that very important thing." Zero just shrugs a little before leaving.

* * *

"Hey, Zero.." I trail off a little unsure as I sit myself on the couch across from him.

"What happened next.. in that story?" Glancing up from the cup in his hands Zero sighs almost silently and shakes his head a little.

"You already know."

"How can I know when the only person who actually knows the full story shuts me out?"

Zero just stares at me for a second before bluntly spitting out. "The boy wakes up, tries to find out why he woke up, finds a useful source of information. Which then goes missing and turns up under the girls pillow."

Giving him a weak smile I manage to get out. "What happens at the end of the story? ..Do you think the boy and girl will ever have a future together?"

For a second Zero's silent before shaking his head lazily. "The girl has a fiancé who just happens to be.. well that doesn't matter. Besides she's a type of princess, the boy's just a-" The corners of Zero's lips quirk up slightly and Zero shakes his head in an almost amused way. "Even though they're the same the boy's a monster and the girl.. just isn't. That's how it's always been."

Biting on the inside of my mouth I try not to wring my hands together. "What if the girl doesn't care she has a fiancé, maybe she doesn't see the boy how he sees himself? Ever consider the fact that you- this boy is actually one of the most amazing people in the world?" Carefully glancing up at Zero I notice his expression is something I never would have expected to see on him.

For a second I know he's hopeful but then it's gone.  
Covered up by that mask he loves to wear so much.

Clearing his throat a little he stands up, stretching awkwardly. "Speaking about fiancés, yours called. Numbers on the fridge."

* * *

**That was so crap, I know but my next chapter is going to be big. Okay?  
I'm typing it up at the moment so hopefully it'll be up later today if not then probably tomorrow. Please review guys. All of you are silent readers bar one. I don't know what you guys think if you don't review so please..  
Anyway, I'll see you guys soon :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys so I know I said I would post this the same day as the last one or something but I just kept wanting to add more to the story so..**

**Anyway, this is kinda longish maybe, I dunno.  
I don't own VK this story plot thingo from Zeros darkest times is however mine. (I really need to rename this story, oh lord.) **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy my.. totally fabulous story. :)**

**By the way, the last chapter was in Yuki pov. I think. Mostly. I dunno. **

* * *

_Yuki pov_

Biting the inside of my mouth I suppress a sigh.

"Zero..." I whisper. "I'm going to have to go back, aren't I?" For a second Zero freezes and turns around frowning.

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't think.. I can marry Kaname." I say hesitantly.

Blinking dully Zero just raises a shoulder questioningly. "You love him but you don't want to marry him?"

"No, I love you." I mumble, wringing my hands a little.

"As long as you're with Kaname.. I know you'll be safe." His voice is thick and I can see he feels awkward about what I just said.

I don't regret it though.

"Zero." I say firmly, taking a few steps toward him. "I love you."

"I.. I need to go. Research and... I'll see you later." For a second Zero begins to walk away before he turns around, pulls me into a hug and rests his chin on the top of my head. "Don't feel like you have to stay and look after me, okay?"

And then he's pulling away and walking up the stairs. Sighing in frustration I flop down onto the couch. Why can't he just accept the fact that I'm in love with him. He gets all awkward and tries to change the subject and says stuff about how I don't have to stay and-

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear something from upstairs. Cautiously I make my way the stairs, standing out the front of Zeros room. Knocking on the door gently I call out his name before opening the door a little.

Zero's sitting in the middle of his bed, the old book I stole from him sitting out in front of him.  
One of his fists rests close to his skull gripping at a handful of silver hair.  
His forehead was creased with a frown and his mouth is slightly pouty.

I open my mouth to ask if he's okay when he speaks. "This is ridiculous." He mutters gripping his hair tighter.

"What is?"

"This book. This theory. All this research." He says angrily and I think this is the first time I've ever seen him this frustrated.

And even though I have no idea what he's talking about I sit myself next to him in the pathetic hopes to make him feel a little bit better. For a few minutes we sit in complete silence. Then without any warning he sits up straighter, his hand dropping limply into his lap. And still he doesn't say anything but something about his expression makes me anxious.

The kind of look he wears right now is like the one he wore when I slapped him.

A sad kind of understanding.

For the second time tonight Zero wraps his arms around me, pulling me close.  
"I gotta test something." He mumbles resting his forehead against my shoulder.

"W..what?" I ask worriedly. "It's nothing, don't worry. I'll be back later.." His voice trails off, a little unsure but he manages a tight lipped smile.

* * *

"Yuki," Chairman calls out from the kitchen. "Dinner's ready. Would you mind fetching Zero for me?"

Glancing up from the magazine in my hands I frown slightly. "I don't know where he is.." My voice trails off a little. "He said he had to go do something and he'd be back later."

The chairman peeks his head into the lounge room. "I think I saw him heading out to the stables. Tell him to the hurry, we don't want the soup getting cold." With that he dramatically prances back to the kitchen.

* * *

"Zero!" I call out, pulling my jacket closer to me as a big gust of wind makes me shiver.  
"Zero, you in here?" Carefully I tiptoe into the stables, worried I'll wake up the horses. Letting out a sigh I set my hands on my hips.

Resting gently against one of the walls and nestled in some fresh hay is Zero.

I smile and gently lean down towards him. "Zero, wake up." I whisper, reaching out and gently shaking his shoulder.  
"Zero, c'mon." I say a little louder. "It's lunch." Pursing my lips I shake him again. "Zero. Come on." I say a little annoyed that he won't wake up.

For a minute I let myself study his features. His eyes are closed, hiding those sad amethyst orbs that I love so much. His silver hair is still as light as ever. His skin, smooth and flawless as usual, his lips set in a faint smile.

It only takes me a second to imagine dark red, almost black roses spread around him and that's when I realize this is exactly how he looked when I saw him for the first time in a year.  
Clapping a hand over my mouth I squeeze my eyes shut, a sob forcing its way up my throat as I notice not just one but three empty pill bottles sitting beside him. A muffled sob escapes me as my legs collapse from under me.

Wrapping an arm around my body I push my free hand to my mouth, trying to muffle the sobs, almost like I'm afraid of making too much noise and waking him up.

"Zero.. Please, please wake up Zero. Please."

One of my hands finds his and grips it until it aches and then turns numb.  
I don't know how much time passes but I keep crying, holding his hand and asking him to wake up, I don't leave though.

Not for a long time.

At one point I wonder if the chairman is going to come looking for us but then I remember how I made him promise a few years back that he wouldn't come interrupt mine and Zeros conversations since they were so rare. The thought only lasts for a moment though; I'm too busy trying to wake Zero up.

And then he does.

He opens his eyes slowly, and blearily looks around. Then he's trying to sit up straighter, his body swaying for less than a second before he's normal again.

"Z..Zero?" I manage to choke out, swiping away my tears which are then replaced by fresh ones.  
Noticing me for the first time since he woke up, Zero wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

"It's okay." He soothes, running a hand through my hair.

"It's not okay. It's not." And even though I know he's okay I'm still sobbing. Wrapping my arms around him I nestle my face into the crook of his neck.  
For a second I feel the faint crave of blood when I do this but immediately decide to ignore it.

Zero pulls away slightly, his head cocked to the side as he stares at me questioningly. "You tried to kill yourself." I sob, resisting the urge to bury my face back in his a moment or two the edges of Zeros lips quirk upwards and I want to hit him for it.

"Why do you care about me so much?"

"Why did you try to kill yourself? I retort, trying to wipe my face clean. Zero sighs softly, shaking his head and reaching out, gently wiping my tears away.

"I wasn't.. trying to kill myself. I can't really explain because I'm not even entirely sure, but it as a part of my theory." He sighs again, this time it's almost completely silent.

Even though there's no more tears to wipe away Zero keeps his hands on the side on the side of my face, his thumbs gently rubbing circles into my skin. He ducks his head a tiny bit when he next speaks, like he's embarrassed.

"I'm not going to try and kill myself again."

I smile softly and let my eyes droop closed, heavy from crying.

"Good."

And even though I have a billion questions I want to ask Zero I can't seem to stay awake. Finally giving up, I nestle my face into Zeros chest, sighing in content when I feel his lips gently brush against my temple.

* * *

After that I must fall asleep because when I next open my eyes I'm being gently placed on my bed. Squinting at the bright light I blearily notice Zero carefully pulling the blankets up to my chin, pressing his lips to my forehead and then turning and beginning to leave.

"Wait!"

Without any other warning I'm scrambling out of bed, trying not to trip over in my sleepy state. Gripping onto Zeros arm. I immediately realize how pathetic I must seem.

"Please…don't leave." I mumble, awkwardly dropping Zeros arm.

For a second he just studies me, a thoughtful look flickering across his features before he nods, leading me back to the bed and once again pulling the blankets up.  
Then he just drops onto the ground beside my bed, his legs crossed as his fingers idly brush through my hair.

Turning on my side I face Zero again, trying to memorize his features.

"What?" He murmurs, his head tilting to the side questioningly.

For a second his eyes widen slightly, his hand beginning to pull away from my hair as he shifts awkwardly. Using the small amount of courage I have I reach out, my hands clasping his, stopping him from pulling away anymore.

"Why do you do that?" I sigh, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze while eliciting a small frown from him.

"Do what?" I notice straight away that his voice is beginning to lose the gentleness that he's been speaking to me with and he's pulling away again.

"Do that! Pull away and act all reserved. I hate it Zero, it makes me.." I trail off suddenly noticing how loud I've gotten and how tears have begun to gather in my eyes.

"It makes me feel like you don't trust me enough to act like yourself." I whisper, glancing down at my lap.

"Don't hit me."

And before I can ask what he's talking about Zeros lips are on mine.  
He's gentle and careful with what he's doing, almost afraid that he'll scare me off.  
My brain is swimming in thoughts of him, and I barely notice that I'm kissing him back.

Cradling my jaw, he carefully pulls himself off the floor into a crouching position, somehow not breaking the kiss.I bring my hands up, letting them rest at the back of his neck, my fingertips brushing against the tips of his hair.

A surprised gasp escapes me when Zero pulls at my arms and I slide off the bed, landing half on Zero half on the floor with a thump.  
I frown and point an accusing finger at him I yet can't help the smile that's creeping onto my face.

That's when I notice Zeros expression, his lips are pulling up in a smirk and his eyes are alight with suppressed laughter. This is the first time I've ever seen Zero so at ease and happy.

He smiles softly and leans his forehead against mine, just like the first time we kissed. After a second his eyes flutter shut, his forehead still pressed against mine, a small smile gracing his features.

"Zero." I inwardly wince as I speak, even to my own ears I can tell how weak I sound.  
"Please never do that again." I don't get the chance to explain further because Zero pulls away, his hands firmly gripping at the tops of my arms.

"I promise, you'll never have to see that again." His voice is soft yet full of strength and determination and I immediately regret saying anything yet I have no idea me a soft smile Zero picks me up and lays me down on my bed.

"Sleep." He murmurs, brushing my hair out of my face before setting himself on the floor again, waiting for me to fall asleep.

* * *

**So..  
Ta-da  
What'd you guys think? Loved it? Hated it? Thought it was too long? Too short? **

**I'm currently working on the next chapter so hopefully that'll be up in the next few days. **

**Does anyone have an opinion as to what they think is next gonna happen.?**

**If I stick to what I've planned then something's about to go down. Hopefully it'll turn out okay.  
Anyway, thank you for reading lovely and I'd really appreciate it if you left a review. :)**


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